Friday, January 9, 2009

back to it...

WOW its been over 2 months since I have been back here writing a blog. But I felt that it was time again. There is so much going on that I need to talk about: ITS MY LAST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE!! and I have no idea what God has for me as a next step. It scares the shit out of me, but at the same time it is awesome to know that the world is in front of me and God has this huge plan for my life. I have to simply trust Him and know that he is in control. I read Redeeming Love and the Shack over Christmas Break, and it was such an eye opener to know that all I simply have to do is trust and love. Love beyond anything. God has shown me that I have no idea how much He has loved me, and how much He cares for me, personally! His love has no boundaries.

I was reminded of that again when I saw Changeling last night and there is a scene in that movie that a character is talking about how he does not want to go to hell and that God has forgiven him for what he has done, but I was sitting there judging him and asking how God could forgive him, I could never have forgiven him for his crime, but who am I to judge this man, I have sinned and done things that I thought I could never have been forgiven for, so why should this man be any different? It was a huge reminder that I am so small compared to the love and mercy of God. I was brought to my knees with this thought and it was all brought into my language and simple terms through the book The Shack.

The Shack changed my perspective on how I view God. I always saw him as this daunting figure and the punisher and judge, but after reading this book, I see him as my best friend ( to risk sounding cliche) but all I have to do is talk to him and be in constant and pure relationship with him. I never saw Him the way that that book portrays Him, but it is so true- I need to let go and trust him with life and know that he has control. One of the chapters talks about judgement, and the main character, Mack, is sent to the judge, but there is a twist- he is judging people and God. I never saw myself as God's judge, but after reading that I saw that I do it all the time. I judge people and going back to the scene in the Changeling where I was asking how God could forgive a man like that, but it was simply putting God in a box and saying that he had to choose one of his children to save, and another one that he has to eternally separate from Him. I understood that God does not choose to love us, but loves US ALL-NO QUESTIONS ASKED! He loves us all so much, that He sent his son to DIE for us. He came to earth and felt all the earthly pain that we feel. Jesus had to make the conscious decision to die. He had a choice. He chose to love us that much.

Anyways now that I have gotten all that said, heres looking forward to a great last semester! I know that all I have to do is trust and love like Jesus. I need to be in constant relation with God-my father, daddy, papa..who loved me so much that he took on all my pain and said, "its ok...I get it, I know- lets do this TOGETHER." I love my Jesus, and he will walk with me through this semester.

1 comment:

Emil said...

amen brother choi!!! how i miss you :)