Thursday, September 16, 2010

WOW...its been so long since I have posted on here... just about 5 months to be exact.. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED! I have been to Africa and back, I have changed jobs, I have made it through summer- which was an adventure in and of itself. And now in the past week God has done crazy thing in my life! I don't even know where to begin. As most people know I have been working at NMC for about 2 or so years and I was feeling a little burnt. After africa I was on fire and felt called to full time overseas missions. GOd had some unique ways of helping me understand the fact that full time ministry is where I am called and is the true desire of my heart (desires of the heart is totally separate topic!) When we returned i found out that a company dedicated to teaching theater skills and performance basics to children was looking for a production/operations manager. I was so excited that the opportunity was approaching again I jumped at it with both feet hoping that this would reinstate my past dreams of one day making it as a director or actor. The Lord had another plan for me. After working there for about 3 months now I have realized that church ministry is where the desire of my heart truly is.

Its funny, and slightly scary, how God know our desires better than we do. He knows the hairs on my head, the tears that i have shed, and what i desire the most. As I have been away from church ministry and fading myself out of Newport Mesa, I have felt lost and the joy was gone. This was supposed to be a dream job that would lead into the career path that I had always wanted, but God knew...He knew that this was temporary, he knew that I needed to learn this myself. He also knew that my desire was to serve people. I have always had a heart to see people served and helped. This really came to the forefront when I was asked to do a hospital visit earlier this month. It was such a great time of living life with people and seeing how God is working in them as He works in me! God has a funny way of showing us that he is right and we are learning to follow that lead.

I have been reading the Francis Chan book, Crazy Love, and its an understatement to say that God is rocking my world and flipping it upside down. He talks about topics and the way the God loves us and we should love him that I have heard all my life, but the presentation and the timing of this book to me now is radical. It has truly reshaped my relationship and understanding of the God that loves me! I have been blessed beyond measure this week as most of this has come out and I am able to put into words the things that have happened.

This week: After realizing that full time ministry is the calling and desire of my heart, I have prayed, fasted, and sought counsel about this matter. This has been a crazy week for me so far (and I don't feel that its over just yet). I redid my resume and sent it to a few people that I trust and know would be contacted if churches were looking to fill an open position. Robin Garvin, the Southern California AG Kids Director, has been helping and praying for me through this process. We talked earlier this week abotu different churches that are looking, or possibly looking, for a children's pastor/director. I was called the immediate next day by one of them who I now am interviewing with.

I say all this and tell the blogging world about my life to prove one point: NEVER THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHING UNDER CONTROL! God is in complete control and is there to help us and take the load off our shoulders, if we would just let him. I have learned that its easier to say than actually do. Letting someone else have complete control over your life and surrendering everything is not the easiest thing..but it is the best. Giving God control and releasing that to him has been the most encouraging and freeing part of this whole journey and adventure that I have now been on for 2/3 weeks. Thank you for all that have been here through it!